Mental Health

How I Found My Confidence and You Can Too!

January 12, 2020
How to Gain More Confidence

Confidence is something we’ve all struggled with at some point. The ones who seem like they don’t have an issue with their confidence are usually the main ones that do. Since this quality is something we aren’t born with, we have to consistently work on improving it throughout our life. But, how do you gain more confidence? Where can you start?

One thing you need when it comes to building your confidence is PATIENCE. It won’t happen overnight! You need to be committed to the process and be willing to work on it each day. Although I still have my moments where I have lingering negative thoughts, I’ve come a long way with my confidence and how I view myself.

Everything that you go through in life can have an effect on your confidence whether it’s being bullied, dealing with a toxic relationship, or having negative, discouraging people around you. However, there are steps we can take to put all of those things on the back burner and focus on the most important thing… ourselves.

In this post, I want to share how I’ve been able to gain more confidence and remain positive despite the obstacles that happen in my life. If you can start doing a few of these consistently, I’m confident that you’ll start to see a positive change!


How to Gain More Confidence

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Over the years, I’ve ended up creating a bubble for myself that I felt trapped in. Whenever I thought about trying something new, I’d slowly back up in the corner and act like it didn’t exist. My negative thinking would cause me to remain stagnant and not move out of fear. However, if you want to gain more confidence, it’s important to pop that bubble and start stepping outside of your comfort zone.

As you continue to realize how capable you are of doing anything you put your mind to, you’ll start to become more confident.

I encourage you to try things you’ve always been afraid to do, it doesn’t have to be anything crazy! For me, starting this blog and my Instagram page was outside of my comfort zone. I thought I wouldn’t be a good Blogger since I was an introvert and didn’t know how to take good pictures or network. Fast forward to now, I ended up proving myself wrong and I’m glad I decided to just go for it.

Don’t give yourself time to think about why you shouldn’t do something, just get up and work on it! You’ll be proud of yourself once it’s accomplished.

Stop Comparing Yourself

Look, I know this is easier said than done because I still have my moments when I question myself and what I’m doing, especially while scrolling through social media. Constantly comparing yourself to others won’t help you gain more confidence. If anything, trying to keep up with everyone else will hurt you more in the end.

Social media is full of filtered pictures that only show the happy moments in someone’s life. You have to remember that people post what they want you to see. Just because it looks like they’re living their best life through pictures doesn’t mean that’s how it is behind the scenes. You never know what someone is going through outside of social media.

Social media is full of filtered pictures that only show the happy moments. You never know what someone is going through behind the scenes. Click To Tweet

One thing that I’ve done is put a limit on how long I scroll carelessly through Instagram. Whenever I open the app, I’m intentional about what I do on there and make sure it’s bringing value to my life. Whether it’s connecting with more Content Creators, looking up ideas, or finding more information that will help me grow, those things have helped me view social media differently and also doesn’t give me time to compare myself.

Another thing you can do is only follow people who are positive and influential. Don’t be afraid to unfollow, or my personal favorite, BLOCK anyone who is negative or make you feel bad about yourself. We have those buttons for a reason. If someone no longer serves you, then click one of those and move forward with your life.

Compliment Yourself Regularly

Another way to gain more confidence is to compliment yourself regularly. Look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful" until you start believing it.

Do you ever have those days when you look in the mirror and aren’t feeling what you see? You may think to yourself: “Ugh, I look so ugly today” and sneer your nose up. I’ve had many moments like that. Negative self-talk won’t help you gain more confidence. Instead of downplaying yourself, start switching out your thoughts with more positive, uplifting statements.

I love having positive affirmations to read every morning when I wake up. You can also look in the mirror every day and tell yourself: “I’m beautiful.” You can even go beyond that and start complimenting other parts about yourself that you love such as your body, smile, intelligence, and so on. Repeat these statements until you start believing it for yourself!

People will always have something to say about you, and if you allow it, those negative things can constantly replay in your mind. However, it’s time to let those irrelevant opinions go and focus on what YOU think about yourself. Remember this, when someone is nasty or rude to you, it’s only a reflection of their own imperfections and issues. It has nothing to do with you.

When someone is negative towards you, it's only a reflection of their own imperfections. Don't allow them to bring you down to their level. Click To Tweet

Hype yourself up, sis! This is the only way you can start valuing who you are as a person which in turn will help you with your confidence.

Practice More Self-Care

Make more time to practice self-care. Do things that make you feel and look good.

The final thing you can do to gain more confidence is to make self-care a priority and practice it regularly. Self-care is normally overlooked because we feel that we’re too busy and don’t have time for it. However, practicing self-care can help you feel more confident about yourself.

When you take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, you’ll start feeling good. You’ll figure out what makes you happy and understand more of what you need each day to keep a positive mindset.

Self-care looks different for everyone, however, if doing a certain activity makes you happy, then make more time for it. For example, I love writing, reading, and doing my skincare routine. Those are a form of self-care for me since they help me relax, especially if I’ve had a long, stressful day.

Self-care can also include finding a therapist and scheduling weekly sessions. It can be making sure you get a full 8 hours of sleep each night. Find what works for you and pay attention to what makes you feel the best!


Finding your confidence will take time, patience, and commitment. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we were automatically born with this and didn’t have an issue?

It’s up to you to change how you view and feel about yourself. No one else’s opinion matters but your own. You have to be intentional on improving your confidence and know this process will be worth it at the end.

Even when you do find out how to be more confident, you’ll still have to practice these tips. We face many challenges in our life that can have a negative impact on our confidence, therefore, we have to continue working on it.

You got this, sis!

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Do you need help feeling more confident? In this post, find 4 ways to start boosting your confidence today.
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14 Comments

  • Reply Amanda January 13, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    This post is amazing!!! Something I’ve been trying to work on. It can be so hard, but I know it’s possible to overcome. Thank you for writing this, it came right now time ❤️

    • Reply Madisen January 13, 2020 at 3:53 pm

      Thank you for reading sis! Yes, it is possible to overcome and I know you’ll be able to improve your confidence overtime!

  • Reply Esther January 13, 2020 at 3:05 pm

    You really nailed it! Building confidence is a slow process and it’s something I work on everyday!! Thank you so much for sharing this!!!

    • Reply Madisen January 13, 2020 at 3:52 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! Yes it’s a slow process but it’s worth it.

  • Reply Shannen January 13, 2020 at 5:12 pm

    I love this post.. It is definitely a journey gaining confidence but we’re on the right track. 🙂

    • Reply Madisen January 13, 2020 at 5:31 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! Yes, and the journey will always be worth it! 🙂

  • Reply Sonya January 13, 2020 at 5:24 pm

    Great post Madisen. Yes, I can definitely see your growth and confidence in many areas. I thank God and it makes me happy and proud.

    • Reply Madisen January 13, 2020 at 5:32 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you see a change because I was really struggling at one point. Thank you.

  • Reply Bri January 13, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    Love Love Love the tips to help someone gain more confidence! Great post!

    • Reply Madisen January 14, 2020 at 5:25 am

      Thank you so much sis! I appreciate you for reading.

  • Reply Drea January 14, 2020 at 1:14 pm

    Really great post Maddy! I’ve struggled with confidence and still do at times. It is all abour patience and seeing the positive things in yourself

    • Reply Madisen January 14, 2020 at 7:13 pm

      Thank you for reading sis! Yes, you’re right about all of that. We have to change our mindset!

  • Reply Dawn K. Boddie January 14, 2020 at 9:26 pm

    I loved this post Maddy! Thank you for these amazing tips! I definitely will be incorporating the “compliment yourself” tip this year. Sometimes we’re just to hard on ourselves.

    • Reply Madisen January 14, 2020 at 9:52 pm

      Thank you sis! Yes, we can be hard on ourselves. We have to start showing compassion to ourselves and be mindful about what we say or think.

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